When will variance throw me a stick?

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I just started playing online just over a month ago.

Been playing 2NL, and seriously struggling. After going +38$ after an initial buyin, I’ve been on a serious downswing since then. After two more buy ins, I’m at around -50$, or worse. I’m scared to check.

I was at $22 balance earlier today. I was playing well, until I lost an AA all-in to a J10 suited call pre-flop that beat me with a flush. Then, I lost another AA (with an A on the board) to a straight.

Then, the following happened. I had A5 suited hearts on the flop against 2 villains. Board is Kh Jh 8s. I raised, villain one re-raised, villain two (deep stack) shoved, I called, villain one called. 3 all-ins.

Flop comes a Jc, river comes 2h.

I thought I had won it because I was focused on the flush. Turns out villain 1 had JJ and villain 2 had 88. They split the pot with 4 of a kind and fullhouse.


I know I’m venting, but after improving my play, working on my game so meticulously over the past couple of weeks… It just feels like I’m losing cash without establishing a bankroll at the lowest stakes.

My buddy who has 10+ years experience and plays at 200NL right now has analyzed my pokertracker religiously and has helped me iron out many kinks in my game. I’m now averaging a VPIP of 18 with PFR of ~15. In other words, I’m no longer playing marginal hands preflop.

I’m folding a lot more as well.

Essentially, besides me complaining about variance, I’m wondering if there’s light at the end of this tunnel.

I really want to take poker seriously and I want it as a source of income. I know it will take time, even a few years… But how am I to get there with such a horrendous start?

Is it possible?

Variance really is not collaborating with me right now.

I’d highly appreciate some feedback. I took many days to cool off and get back into it because I lost 6 buyins in a day which left me crushed… I started playing well again, and then lost 6 today in a crazy turn of events. I feel severely demoralized and want to continue, but it’s bloody difficult…

Could you guys share some of your experiences as well? I’m sure I’m not the only one that’s gone through something like this….

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